Happy Sunday my peepo!

E don tey wen yansh dey back o, and e don tey wey Demi reash this yonda.

I know na, make una no vex. Na chop carry me wakea comot because as you peepo no gree follow me tok, the tin tire me small. And as e be say person no dey make bread and butter for this yonda na, I suppose borrow myself brain make I go find chop money and rent money before my baba Landlord throw my clothes comot for my small flat na.

Anyway Yoruba peepo tok say if something no get yansh, woman no dey answer  'ikumolu', so e get reason when I say make come quick come shek dis side.

Oya see am!

Na this piksho of Dakore Egbuson wen I see  on top Facebook make me vex to tok!

Abeg see babe!

Check out that figure in that gorgeous blue dress! I bin dey tok am say blue and purple always dey fit us black girls. Come look the hair and the jweries again!! Everything on FLEEK!!

Anyway me sef don dey exercise. Na insai the same trouser we go put leg because me sef must be a bisg ghel! 

Yes os cof!!

Anyway how your Sunday dey go now? I dey open for invitation to chop tins o. Fried rice, jollof even if na small pounded yam with egusi soup sef dat one too I go manage. Remember say shearing is kiareen o. 

Anyway, if you refuse to invite me, I pray say make your alarm no work tomorrow moreen. 

Happy Sonday!

Have a Fab Saturday!!!

Its been a while since I had a peep in here.

Just a quickie to say happy weekend and hope you are having a whale of a time. Well, if like ke me, you are still lying in bed waiting to be served a nice brew with toast; your day might be yet to kick off. However, whatever you do today, be sure to make it a swell activity.

Remember, you only live once. YOLO!!

Enjoy the rest of the day.

Weekend Lazies...

It's been such a while, hasn't it?

I miss you plenty.

It's Saturday morning and I'm up already. You see, I do this all the blawdy time! Spend the week days struggling to get out of bed - no, I mean literally fall off the bed just to wake myself up and get into the shower - but come Saturday morning, which I would have planned waking up nothing short of 2pm, I end up waking up at least an hour earlier than I would during a week work day.

Now I'm totally bombed out, yet can't go back to sleep or even strong enough to get out of bed. I stare at my white ceiling bedroom trying to plan out my day. If only I would just decide on which hairstyle to do. That alone has taken considerable time out of my very young day. One thing is for sure though and that is the fact that I am not wearing the 'guru-maharaji' hat today. Enough is enough! It has done a good job of hiding the multitude of sins that layed fallow on my head and now it need a deserved rest.

Anyway, how are you? I trust that you are good and that you have something more interesting planned for yourself today?

In the meantime, I'm just gonna scamper off to the shower.

Happy Saturday.

Seeing It All In Black And White.

I'm seeing it all in black and white. 

The goggles are off now.

Obama Lands in Kenya.

Obama lands in his Fatherland...Kenya!




 Check out the hug he gave his sister in white jacket.

Kenyan people abeg make una translate o.


He had this to say when he was interviewed by the BBC before his departure to Kenya.

Tinned Tomatoes Can Cause Cancer!

If you are my facebook friend, then you would probably remember one of my not too distant posts in which I enquired why Nigerians preferred tinned tomatoes to fresh ones.

I wasn't exactly sure of its health implications at the time, it was just me musing over things that seem rather odd without necessarily having answers to them. I do this a lot. I am a thinker, maybe even a worrier because I tend to get emotional about other people's situation. I am no mother Theresa but I like to see people, myself included, live the best lives we can. This has led me to take more care in what I eat and think more deeply about what I ingest. Perhaps it came as a result of losing someone so dear to me to the cold hands of cancer not very long ago. This brought to fore, my own mortality and made me consider things I can do to buy more time on earth so I can achieve more and hopefully impact others more positively.

Anyway, without getting all sentimental and overly emotional like I do get, here is what I found courtesy of a link shared by another facebook friend I admire, although she might not know it. :-)

"I know what you’re thinking… You’ve likely heard how the nutrient Lycopene in tomatoes lowers cancer risks, but that benefit is completely cancelled out when the lining of canned tomatoes contain chemicals that disrupt hormonal activity in the body. Since tomatoes are so acidic, the chemical BPA actually leeches from the lining into the tomatoes. This toxic chemical has been linked to different cancers, heart disease and reproductive problems. Next time you feel like making a nice red sauce, go with a glass jar or stew the tomatoes yourself".

Here is the link if you wish to find the out the other fifteen food that can cause cancer. I think the list will surprise you but hopefully it will also lead you to make conscious decisions about your diet. http://www.littlethings.com/cancer-causing-foods/ 

#Sandrabland

Woman Caught Sexting...

How I wish this had happened to a Nigerian couple. Hahaha..

Imagine attending a game like football match in Lagos and you were sat there with your partner, husband, wife, whatever. And your partner is typing away on the phone. You being a trusting partner thought nothing of it, dismissing it as him merely texting his mates, right? 

Okay, how about someone handing you a piece of paper from behind and you accepting it thinking it was a pamphlet relating to information about the game but what you the see on the paper is this:

Hahaha...this is what happened to a man in Atlanta when him and his wife went to watch a baseball game. Behind them were two sisters who had allegedly caught the man's wife 'sexting' another man whose name she had saved as 'Nancy' in her phone.

The pair, that is the two girls or at least one of them had taken pictures and posted photos to Twitter of what seemed like adulterous text messages they claim she sent to a Mark Allen and not Nancy as she had it saved.

One of the girls, Delana, now wrote a note to the man during the game that read: 'your wife is cheating on you. Look at the messages under Nancy! It's really a man named Mark Allen. There are pictures on my phone'.

Delana even assured the man that should his wife delete the messages he could contact her and she included her phone number. 

Bryan, who is the other girl then posted the pictures in her Twitter saying: @when there's a married couple in front of you but...hoes ain't loyal so me @lanabaybee8 expose em!".

lol...can you imagine this happening to a Naija couple? How do you think the man would react? Or how would he handle the situAtion if he was the one caught 'sexting'?

Lol...

Couple Found A Large Snake Lounging in Their Front Room.

Imagine walking into your living room after a long day at work. It's Friday and you are looking forward to putting your feet up with the vivid dream of that bottle of wine sitting pretty in an ice bucket. You had planned it all out in your head on your way home on the train.

You get home and first you want to let some fresh air in so you head to your windows to pull the curtains but wait! What is that curled up in the corner behind your curtain? It's a snake!!!

Jejele catching a shut eye. 

You want a piece of me...?

Hahaha...well, such was the experience (well minus the concocted story though) of a couple from Guildford in Surrey, England when they saw a large snake curled up behind their curtains.  The terrified couple after getting over their initial shock while still understandably terrified called rescuers from Wildlife Aid foundation to report the reptile napping in their lounge.


The snake was removed and then released into it's habitat but not before urinating on the couple's floor perhaps to show its disgust for the inhospitable nature of the residents. I mean...can't a snake just catch a small break?

Won't be gone for long, i'll be back for dinner.

The rescuers said it was merely a grass snake which is only the largest reptile in Great Britian. Hahaha... God knows that as dem dey tok na so I dey pack my load. They put the snake in a net carrier and released it back into its habitat aka the couple's garden. Oloun ma je! The couple then asked "will it come back"? Hahaha...you bet it will!!

Kai! Oyinbo people sha! For my country dis na correct bush meat. Peppersoup don land be that and na Godwin.

Oyinbo Carrying 'Kondo Olopa'.

Lol...oloshi lawon oyinbo yi sha...

Add caption

so this innocent lady/girl, whatever since we cannot see her face, was jejely waiting to catch her train at Clapham Junction station in South West London, when she was, oblivious to her, photographed from behind.

Well...lets just say that the lady likes pink things as evidenced from her flip flops and the umbrella, yes, umbrella sticking out in her backpack abi how you take see am? You don't think it's an umbrella? What could it be? 'kondo olopa' abi?


Hahaha...

Happy Friday ojare!

Femi flaunts picture of his anointed son with baby mama.

Oloun gbo! Asinwin ni man yi mehn! 

So he can flaunt his child by his baby mama but refused to attend the wedding ceremony of his older daughter neither of the one that graduated recently either?

To scorn his older children he went on Twitter with his yellow baby mama to flaunt "his son"!

Did I hear you say I shouldn't judge or to mind my own business? Okay o, I have heard you but that media whore politician wannabe makes me sick! He flaunts corruption in our faces and reminds us of how he is spending our looted funds. 

Oh I cannot stand that man!

Anyway make I leave his stupid mata before I develop shoki on my neck.

Bode George's Hot Son😄😄

Naija people Una well done o, with all your anti-gay marriage law forming una still dey number second for the list of countries wey dey watch gay porn pass. Lol... Don't ask me where I got the gist, it is just one of those things my brain happened to pick up on social media.

All you hypocrites!!

Anyway, in other gists, check out our Lagos Lord's son Instagram photos. His name is Yinka Bode George. The son of our highly respected Lagos State PDP political 'baba Isale' you know the one that went to jail one time now...okay the one that was gonna impose Jimi Agbaje on us. Shey you know him now? His yellow wife is or was the NDLEA oga.

Anyway the guy is not a bad looker o.

Any takers, girls...

Yemi Osinbajo - Small But Mighty.

Kikere labere kere, kii se mimi f'adiye.

"A needle though tiny, cannot be swallowed by a chicken"

Saraki will understand this better seeing as he not long ago dismissed our Vice President as "a mere commissioner!". You go hear am when your wife begin sing like Canary.

Anyway check out some pictures from the National Economic Council meeting which held in Abuja today.

Guard your Children Jealously!!

Parents!!! Most especially those of you with female children, I have warned you repeatedly to not play Ludo with your female children's safety o.

Moreso don't make yourself too inaccessible to your children all in the name of forming discipline! 

Our children are being abused but we fail to recognise it. We bury our heads in the sand that such does not happen in our community or at worse blame the child of witchcraft when she reports abuse.

Guard your children jealously o both male and female! Male children get sexually abused too o!

Anyway here is what I found on Vanguard Nigeria website:

By Esther Onyegbula

LAGOS—A 17-year-old teenager, identified as Tobi George, is currently being investigated by the police at Alakara Division, Lagos, for allegedly defiling a minor on Ogunfunmi Street, Surulere.

It was learned that the act, which had become a recurrence, started sometime ago, after the victim and her younger sister began to stay in the suspect’s house on return from school.

Vanguard gathered that trouble started on July 13, when the victim’s younger sister innocently revealed to her class teacher, during a lesson on sex education, that their neighbour’s son, Tobi, did to her sister what she was teaching her and her classmates.

Startled by the revelation, the teacher invited the victim’s parents to school and informed them of what their daughter had said.

The victim, thereafter, told her parents that the suspect threatened to kill her if she ever told anyone what he was doing to her.

It was learned that the suspect took advantage of the victim, who normally stayed in his house with her younger sister after they closed from school, pending when their parents would return from school at about 6p.m.

The parents immediately took her to Good Tidings Hospital where several tests carried out revealed that the victim had been sexually abused repeatedly, as her hymen had been broken.

Alarmed by the discovery, the parents, Mr and Mrs Adedoyin, went to the suspect’s parents to report the issue.

Parents of the suspect were said to have gone wild and threatened to inflict injury on the victim’s mother.

Vanguard learned that Tobi, who had defiled his younger sister, was in the habit of sexually abusing other young girls in the vicinity.

The suspect has been arrested and the case is currently being investigated at Alakara Police Division.

Confirming the incident, Lagos State Police Public Relations Officer, DSP Kenneth Nwosu, said he would get back to Vanguard, but had not done so at press time.

 

Heads Will Roll!! - Buhari.

Yes...yes...okay...I know that I have been a little hard on daddy Buhari of late. It is only because I had been missing his face and his very unassuming swagger you know. There is something about that man that though simple, he still commands some...I don't even know how to describe it so I'll just call it 'X-factor'. Hahaha...Simon Cowell will be pleased.

Anyway, it seems it will only take foreigners to get baba to talk o, as he seems to say much more when he is abroad than when he is at home. Well, I suppose one cannot pile too much blame on him for this when one is reminded of the unscrupulous nature of our home journalists and bloggers alike. Abi we have quickly forgotten the lies of AIT ni? Baba wants to be sure that his comments are reported truthfully and accurately, I suppose. Anyway, if foreign trips is what it would take for our president to address us about his action plans then foreign trips it will be! 

I am particularly excited about the president's current visit to the land of the oppressors not because our president as many are concerned got to sit with the so called president of the free world and therefore giving an opportunity for APC party jobbers to rub it in 'tanmites' (another name for Jonathan's corrupt supporters) faces, but because he made some affirmative statements regarding his plans to recoup our stolen funds by corrupt ex-government officials but  particularly to prosecute them. Now if that is not a news to make you all warm inside, I don't know what will.

Baba seems to mean business even though it is all smokes and screen for now as we are yet to see the actions but EFCC seems to be picking up on baba's vibes. It has resurrected from its comatose state and started charging corruption suspects left right and centre to court or at best called them in for interrogation. The one which pleased me the most is the call for questioning of the so called senate president's wife. Let's just call her Saraki's wife as I care not about getting to know her. That one in particular made me so gleeful! Maybe I'm a sadist abi? Funny thing is that the woman released a statement pledging her cooperation and in that statement referred to herself as the excellency almost five times. My question is: "who dash monkey banana"?

Anyhow, the juiciest one is that I read in the Punch newspaper abi na website, that the presido have discovered that certain ministers in the immediate past administration ran more than five foreign personal accounts to launder monies gained from selling crude oil of over a million barrel a day!!! Maybe I didn't read that correctly sha? The president said the amount of money siphoned into foreign personal accounts which were proceeds from illegal crude oil sales is mind boggling! On his honour, he has vowed that with the cooperation of our foes  acting as friends, he will recover the monies into federation account and prosecute the ministers!!

Now are you thinking what im thinking? Are you thinking of a beautiful 'opolo' eyes ex minister? Hahaha...this soap opera is sweet!! If we are lucky, the 'puff-puff' cheeks minister will be indicted too if only her true masters at the world bank will allow it. 

All round sha, this news gives us enough hope till September when our new president has promised to put his kitchen cabinet together.

 Let's hope that delicious meals come out of that kitchen once installed.

The Nude Queen.

Can this babe do any wrong? 

She seems to be waxing stronger and stronger not only in music but clearly her stylists are also ensuring that she is not left behind in the Kim Kardashianesque figure hugging, booty pushing, booby revealing  not forgetting thigh exposing trend.

The superstar was captured on her way to her Manhattan office looking 'blushfully' alluring.

Last year, she nabbed virtually all the awards in her category and it seems that she is set to repeat that stunt again this year at the MTV video music awards.

Who know, maybe she will like last year be joined on stage by her hubby JazZ and their most adorable blue ivy. With Queen Bee as she's popularly called by her minions not known to do things by halves, we might just get a surprise bun in the oven announcement seeing as she is at least following in Kardashian footsteps fashion wise.

An Anti Stabbing Mentor Stabbed To Death.

It was sad to read that a promising young British man of Nigerian descent, Michael Adegbite, 28, was stabbed to death by muggers while trying to sell his laptop which he had earlier advertised and sold on a free listings website - gumtree.

Michael, a graduate teaching assistant, model and fitness instructor who had mentored young youths on the dangers of carrying knives and knife crimes met his demise in the hands of the same evils he preached against, at Enfield, North London on Sunday evening.

After selling his MacBook laptop on gumtree, Michael had arranged to meet at Enfield where the exchange was to take place. For safety, he had gone with a friend.

Unknown to Michael, it was not a genuine transaction as soon after arrival, he and his friend were confronted by three teenage muggers who had attempted to rob him of his laptop. He however, with reinforcement from his friend; able to fend off his attackers and retrieved  his laptop while the robbers took to their heels.

However the incident took a turn for the worse when Michael fortified  by the presence of another friend, now making a force of three, went in search of the culprits. They found the muggers and an altercation ensued which led to him being stabbed by one of the muggers.

One of the family sympathisers  claimed that passers-by ignored the incident and refused to call the police because all they saw was four black boys  in a fight. It was posited  that had someone called the police during the fight, an early five minutes could have saved Michael's life. Rather Michael was left on the roadside to bleed and thirty minutes later, he gave up the ghost despite the paramedics trying hard to rescucitate him.

Currently, three 18year olds are held in custody in connection with the crime.

I commiserate with the family and friends of the deceased. I wish Michael had not returned to the scene of the incident to teach the hoodlums a lesson. Perhaps he could have reported to the police and be living another day now.

Rest in peace Michael.

Clarence Peters' Mum Is Sexy.

You see, one of the things that ticks me off about Nigerian women especially when the get married is that the become instantly old! Yes, these species believe that marriage means you add 20 years to your age and a passport to wearing shapeless 'bubu' and carrying some oversize 'shine-shine' laden check na bag!

On the contrary, you should reverse the sluggish trend and smarten up girl! Fix up! Look smart! Defy age and sluggishness! Lose that wrapper around your chest and hit the gym if you can!

Which is why right now I'm feeling mama Clarence Peters aka Sir Shina Peters' old side chick. 

Babe is reinventing herself ni jo! Maybe she could do without that konko shoe and tone the make up down a little bit that is Clarion Chukwura for you.

Some low lives have criticised the pictures saying her boobs baring is not age appropriate. Well, who decides the cut off age of looking sultry?

Abeg mummy carry go ojare!

Jonathan's CSO IS NOT DEAD!!

Olosi lawon rumour mongers yi sha.

But the man is still in custody!

Who are these oloriburuku propagandists?

Me I didn't propagate o. I said it was alleged but I wanted to do 'tatafo' for you.

Yoruba for Metropolitan Police.

Good news for my heavily accented Ibadan dialect brothers and sisters who have felt marginalised or turned down for jobs all because of this beautiful attribute.:-).

Despair not my brothers and sisters for the London metropolitan police service finds you desirable! Yes, come one come all with your Ogbomosho azzent or even Ijebu accent as you are the preferred ones!!

The London Met Police in recognition of London as a melting pot of all cultures have decided that living up to its image, would now only consider new recruits who speak not just English but a foreign language in a list of 14 approved ones. Yes...so if you are Naija British wey no sabi speak Egba YORUBA, still dey form "innit", you are disqualified. And that Nigerian passport your Nigerian mum forced you to acquire will not save you now. Hehehe...this is sweet!

Anyway sha, what they didn't tell you is that this is only a pilot and the trial will only last a week or so. Hahaha...

But trust my Britico dem. Dem don dey para say mandarin, no join, Lithuania no dey, Swahili sef make mouth and Punjabi. Every 300 ethnic group wants o feel among o. See gobe!

Critics are not happy. They say it is not representative of the over 300 ethnic groups so it is useless.

Anyway sha, me I just think they want to test the indigenous Britons ni jare! Trying to whip up racial bias as they do. Abi we have forgotten that this is a conservative government ni? If it was Labour now I for take dem serious.

Anyway going to practice my Ijebu azzent.

Cash ya larer.

Jonathan's CSO Killed In Custody?

Not sure of the veracity of this report but I read that former Chief Secutity Officer to past president Goodluck Jonathan, Gordon Obua has died while in the custody of the DSS - Department of State Security.

It was reported that Obua was detained on 16th July on the behest of president Buhari's to the newly appointed Director General of the DSS, Lawal Daura. While he was in detention, it is alleged that the deceased had been denied access to his lawyer and also disallowed medical attention despite his superiors' knowledge of his pre-existing diabetic and hypertensive condition.

Allegedly, his lawyer Onochie Onwegbuna had as of the 18th July, two days after Obua's detention; released a press statement on behalf of the family, reminding the service of Obua's health conditions and their denial of administering him his drugs. The statement also suggested that Mr. Obua's detention was a witch hunt by Buhari of the previous administration.

Now, my opinion is that if these story is true and all allegations are proved to be factual, then, this will not look good on the present administration. Vultures have been perching in the wings, waiting to nail the president for any mistake however trivial. So, I hope that their trap has not caught it's prey. The president must impress on his appointees that this will no longer be business as usual and that his officers cannot act with impunity and disregard for the law and common sense! 

I do not know how the DSS operate from the usual police, however I know, that no suspect should be detained for that length of time without charge. Moreso, all medical attention must be given even when an accused is found guilty!

Business can no longer be usual! The president must be aware also offifth  columnists in his government who might be working assiduously to bring him to disrepute.

My sincere condolences to the family of the departed and I hope that they sue the DSS for some hefty compensation while many bring that this cannot bring back the dead or can never be consolation for the loss of a dear one.

Scammers Rejoice Over their Menace.

Read somewhere that this man, who was popularly referred to Alhaji Alaso or Alhaji Gay -for allegedly having sexy with young boys - has been assassinated. 

It was reported that prior to his demise, he was known to terrorise 'Yahoo boys' in the alagbado area of Lagos state. Apparently, he would impersonate the EFCC otherwise known as the Economic Financial Fraud Commission and impound people's cars and in cohort with the authorities would request for fines to be paid to secure the release of the vehicles. 

What however got me was the jubilation from the readers on the said page. They were jubilating not because he was allegedly a criminal or as some called him "a child molester", but because now, "Yahoo boys " (for those not in the know, these are internet advance fee scammers) can now heave a sigh of relief and go about their normal business of scamming unaware victims because this man was most harsh to them as their vehicles got impounded the most because they were more luxurious.

It just made me really sad that despite our presumed progress as a nation, such  criminal acts still thrive and our youths have come to imbibe it as a societal norm. 

Very sad.

Sunday Blessings to You All...

Good morning and happy Subday o Ye beautiful people.

For some, it would be the Sunday ritual of going to church to worship and for our Muslim brothers, it is perhaps a lazy morning with family and relaxing generally. I understand that the fasting is still well underway so you are perhaps taking the time to reflect and make supplications to God. To the traditionalists, I suppose a similar presumption wouldn't be far fetched.

Whichever faith we belong to, I suppose the general acceptance is that Sunday is the day of the week in which to rest. While we do that though, may I implore us to spare a thought to the needy; those who would not be having that sumptuous Sunday dinner. If we can, we should extend a hand of help or at least take a meal to those who are hopeless about one today?

Our faith isn't just about us making weekly ritual but should be about everyday practice. We are not our religion but the spirit of our faith. So much despair in this world but I believe that we can heal one another because we are all essentially from that one being. We are members of a whole part and we all should seek to re-member.

A tree does not make a forest and one hand cannot wash itself clean. It is only when each Palm straw comes together that a broom is formed.

Let us be out brothers' keeper and love be one another.

Happy Sunday to you  all.

Serena turns Hawker...???

Langbe jina o, Agbado ti de o. Lol...

 

Has Serena turned into hawking?

 Don't miss bs me o, just goofing around.

But seriously though, you can take a girl out of Africa but you can never take Africa out of her.

If she does sell agbado, I bet they will be the sweetest sha. Hehehe...